Another day and another need to post something about Amanda. It's a week today since she died and someone had the idea of tweeting her trademark smiley sign off with 7 kisses ;-)xxxxxxxx to the #RIPAmanda hashtag to mark it. I agreed to participate if others thought it a good idea despite some reservations I can't quite explain - possibly feeling I've said enough publicly, aside from various tributes I've commented on other blog pieces including on on this one by @1ElephantsChild. I felt I'd brought my public comments to completion with y #ff's on Friday where I thanked all those who had said kind things and had shown support to me. This seemed a suitable way to draw a line under my timeline talk. Then I received this request, which was hard to refuse and as of the moment 4 or 5 people have participated. He hasn't mentioned anything to me yet so I may play it by ear. I did promise but would feel more comfortable if any comment was hidden amongst many others.
In her piece, Ellie mentions trying to hide but knew that Amanda would find her. This made me remember that she was incredibly observant. I recall her telling me almost as soon as her new account appeared that she suspected who it was. The use of lilac and the people she was following (with her son the 1st) were among the few clues she needed to work it out before Ellie told her. I saw how she noticed little things that may seem insignificant first hand when she mentioned something I hadn't told her before but she had already realised. That's what set her apart from a lot of people - she took the time to look and examine and understand. She had a thirst for knowledge that was more than mere politeness which I thought initially when asking me about my job as she mentioned and encouraged others to do likewise and repeating one description asked if I found it as fascinating as she was.
She was never afraid to ask questions if she didn't understand anything and when detailing any information to me assumed a certain level of knowledge - no patronisation. Technical terms I googled as I waited the next update as she beautifully detailed her experiences, thoughtfully adding that she thought I would be interested because of my science background. In truth, the subject wasn't always important and always of interest.
That's the reason why everything feels a bit flat. Only this morning I've done a little rhyming with four or five other smart tweeps who were all singing my praises started when one replied to an anniversary tweet to say nice to see me back (not really gone away). This started to feel a bit uncomfortable and I let it drift away and I suspect there was an element of support about it, which is nice that they care, but I find it hard to accept praise at the best of times. Amanda helped with this with her constant endorsements and I gained untold followers on the back of her constant retweeting of me. In time I may regain some confidence but without Amanda on my timeline it feels pointless. I know she would not like this and as I've said previously I will endeavour to honour her memory but all in good time.
In her piece, Ellie mentions trying to hide but knew that Amanda would find her. This made me remember that she was incredibly observant. I recall her telling me almost as soon as her new account appeared that she suspected who it was. The use of lilac and the people she was following (with her son the 1st) were among the few clues she needed to work it out before Ellie told her. I saw how she noticed little things that may seem insignificant first hand when she mentioned something I hadn't told her before but she had already realised. That's what set her apart from a lot of people - she took the time to look and examine and understand. She had a thirst for knowledge that was more than mere politeness which I thought initially when asking me about my job as she mentioned and encouraged others to do likewise and repeating one description asked if I found it as fascinating as she was.
She was never afraid to ask questions if she didn't understand anything and when detailing any information to me assumed a certain level of knowledge - no patronisation. Technical terms I googled as I waited the next update as she beautifully detailed her experiences, thoughtfully adding that she thought I would be interested because of my science background. In truth, the subject wasn't always important and always of interest.
That's the reason why everything feels a bit flat. Only this morning I've done a little rhyming with four or five other smart tweeps who were all singing my praises started when one replied to an anniversary tweet to say nice to see me back (not really gone away). This started to feel a bit uncomfortable and I let it drift away and I suspect there was an element of support about it, which is nice that they care, but I find it hard to accept praise at the best of times. Amanda helped with this with her constant endorsements and I gained untold followers on the back of her constant retweeting of me. In time I may regain some confidence but without Amanda on my timeline it feels pointless. I know she would not like this and as I've said previously I will endeavour to honour her memory but all in good time.
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