Some reflective moments this weekend starting with my Grandad's funeral on Friday which in keeping with the last few funerals I have attended felt rather strange with the added complication of trying to remember the names of people I could not remember but some of whom knew me from childhood. We spent a lot of the time travelling between venues as I drove to my parents who took me and Helen to Tim and Tina's in Bishop Auckland where the funeral directors came to take Brian's body to a nearby church for the service. The church was a rather nice old building not necessarily best equipped for the long limousines but with tombstones from the 17th century and lovely stained glass windows which unfortunately were boarded up outside. After the service we all drove to North cemetery back in Darlington where he was to be interred in the same grave as my grandmother and her son. After the vicar finished the service at the graveside we returned to Tim and Tina's for a buffet and to collect my parent's car before we returned back to Darlington again several hours later.
As one of Tim's friends pointed out and which was true for me as well it was unusual to be attending a burial as most of the recent funerals I had been to were cremations. My mam had a moment by the graveside when she could not see ant other coffins and wondered what they had done with her brother as the hole was still rather deep. Reassuring her that they will have dug the hole deeper and covered the other coffins, hence the wood chips just below Brian's coffin, to avoid any upset calmed her but I did see her double checking with the vicar.
My folks mentioned that they were going to visit my grandparents house at Tim's invitation to see if there was anything they wanted before it went on the market and asked if I would like to come. For all of us I think it was more of an opportunity to exorcise some ghosts and so met them at "Cilipi" on Saturday afternoon. The door was stuck so we were limited to snooping around the garage and the plot of land over the road. Bethany enjoyed running around the field nonetheless, picking flowers and laughing at my dad swinging on the gate. There was a porcelain dog inside the conservatory door that wouldn't open and she seemed rather taken with it as she kept running to the door, waving and saying "hiya" to the dog.
Just as we were about to leave my dad tried the door one last time and it came free so we went and all were overcome with some uncomfortable nostalgia. The place is a mess with nappy bags, disposable gloves and toilet rolls scattered about the place left over from when Brian was receiving care at home along with the camp bed set up in the living room. The carpets were threadbare and other artefacts were strewn all over with only some mousetraps being carefully positioned. Some outbuildings were in disrepair with a missing roof and a broken window and I had forgotten how many trinkets my nanna had collected. Porcelain figurines of various qualities of tat were everywhere covering display cases and window sills although the old art deco style furniture I remembered was still there. Even David Dickinson wouldn't get excited at what was in the house although there were a few old cameras and a cine splicer that might have been of some interest and which my mam said she would tell Tim about. In the end my mam found an old sewing machine and I took a bottle of wine and a half bottle each of whisky and brandy.
One of the abiding memories I have of visiting as a child was when my dad would play the piano they had so when I saw it I warmed and opened it to play the few bars of "In The Mood" that I can manage thinking that Bethany would enjoy the music. As she scrunched her face up ready to cry I realised that it had not had the desired effect that I had hoped for so made way for my father who started but soon discovered the piano was flat. That sort of summed up the visit.
Today was far more rewarding as Alison and my mam both competed in the Race for Life at Ormesby Hall where despite the weather both performed magnificently. Alison knocked about 10 minutes off her time from last year completing the 5K run in just under 36 minutes with my mam about 10 minutes behind. As Alison's training schedule consisted of drinking the bottle of wine from my grandparents the night before then she was quite rightly pleased with herself but may feel the effects tomorrow as she started to feel herself stiffening up in the car on the way back home.
As one of Tim's friends pointed out and which was true for me as well it was unusual to be attending a burial as most of the recent funerals I had been to were cremations. My mam had a moment by the graveside when she could not see ant other coffins and wondered what they had done with her brother as the hole was still rather deep. Reassuring her that they will have dug the hole deeper and covered the other coffins, hence the wood chips just below Brian's coffin, to avoid any upset calmed her but I did see her double checking with the vicar.
My folks mentioned that they were going to visit my grandparents house at Tim's invitation to see if there was anything they wanted before it went on the market and asked if I would like to come. For all of us I think it was more of an opportunity to exorcise some ghosts and so met them at "Cilipi" on Saturday afternoon. The door was stuck so we were limited to snooping around the garage and the plot of land over the road. Bethany enjoyed running around the field nonetheless, picking flowers and laughing at my dad swinging on the gate. There was a porcelain dog inside the conservatory door that wouldn't open and she seemed rather taken with it as she kept running to the door, waving and saying "hiya" to the dog.
Just as we were about to leave my dad tried the door one last time and it came free so we went and all were overcome with some uncomfortable nostalgia. The place is a mess with nappy bags, disposable gloves and toilet rolls scattered about the place left over from when Brian was receiving care at home along with the camp bed set up in the living room. The carpets were threadbare and other artefacts were strewn all over with only some mousetraps being carefully positioned. Some outbuildings were in disrepair with a missing roof and a broken window and I had forgotten how many trinkets my nanna had collected. Porcelain figurines of various qualities of tat were everywhere covering display cases and window sills although the old art deco style furniture I remembered was still there. Even David Dickinson wouldn't get excited at what was in the house although there were a few old cameras and a cine splicer that might have been of some interest and which my mam said she would tell Tim about. In the end my mam found an old sewing machine and I took a bottle of wine and a half bottle each of whisky and brandy.
One of the abiding memories I have of visiting as a child was when my dad would play the piano they had so when I saw it I warmed and opened it to play the few bars of "In The Mood" that I can manage thinking that Bethany would enjoy the music. As she scrunched her face up ready to cry I realised that it had not had the desired effect that I had hoped for so made way for my father who started but soon discovered the piano was flat. That sort of summed up the visit.
Today was far more rewarding as Alison and my mam both competed in the Race for Life at Ormesby Hall where despite the weather both performed magnificently. Alison knocked about 10 minutes off her time from last year completing the 5K run in just under 36 minutes with my mam about 10 minutes behind. As Alison's training schedule consisted of drinking the bottle of wine from my grandparents the night before then she was quite rightly pleased with herself but may feel the effects tomorrow as she started to feel herself stiffening up in the car on the way back home.
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