Well that's another day negotiated of avoiding the auditors at work who seemingly do there checking on the morning. Now I appreciate why the company are going after accreditation to attract more customers and as the ultimate customer may be a large supermarket we need to conform to their standards. However, these are several pages of what basically amounts to keep your record in order and the factory clean and take little account of the various businesses it may cover. So as we are technically a food factory we need to adhere to certain stringent rules which are conveniently ignored when they contravene structural factors around the fact that we are an almost 150 year old brewery. So while we must regularly clean floors and pipework and tick the box to say that it was done along with another signature from a supervisor who has inspected it this does not stop the roof leaking and making a mess of the nice clean floor. This is apparently not a serious issue as the product is held within stainless steel vessels and not in contact with the newly dirty areas so begging the question why we wasted the time to clean the floor in the first place. Somebody on the radio the other day was complaining along similar lines and highlighted the point of check boxes: they might indicate that someone has said they have cleaned something but it does not mean that it was cleaned.
   I don't mind cleaning but this routine becomes self fulfilling as the customer demands standards so someone then needs to organise and inspect these standards and the small businesses fall over themselves to maintain them believing it provides them with an edge. This comes hot on the heels of the previous initiative whereby all the workforce had to do an NVQ in Lean Manufacturing which did have some good general points to make but again was not tailor made to any particular business. The constant comparisons with Nissan and how lean and efficient they were obviously is of no consequence to a brewery and did them no favours when they reduced hours at their plant. Aside from the horrific profit based business model looking to shave pennies at every available opportunity the idea that if you operate the manufacturing process exactly the same you get the same product out and thus consistency may work in a car plant but not when you are dealing with variable ingredients such as malt and hops as well as a living organism in yeast that does not always behave the same. The lack of craft to this vision of the process depressed me and may be fine for the generic lagers we produce but I like to think if you create a beer good enough people will drink it as opposed trying to make it as cheap as you can as this leaves you open to someone coming along and undercutting you.
   Efficiency measures were always trying to save a minute here or there which is fine if you run a 24 hour operation but means nothing if you save say 5 minutes on the keg plant as they would not start on a new tank and the lads would go home 5 minutes early or spend it in the canteen. Again the principles are fine and I personally always try to be as efficient and hygienic as I can but that is down to my own self worth at doing a good job but in the end it became a cleaning exercise where we were put into groups and charged with sorting an area out. Some flannel would be used to say how the newly cleaned area was no longer a hazard with all the rubbish cleared away thereby improving the overall site safety after all that had been done was to chuck some unused equipment away and stick some signs up.
   Two points that emerged from this was that it was more efficient to keep equipment you used regularly at hand and that whilst visual management (signs) was important, not to get carried away as too much information with notices everywhere tends to get ignored as nobody is going to stop and read them all. From that, as you may already have guessed, everything has been cleared away to keep areas looking clean and there are notices all over the place. Now I know that they have to cater for the lowest common denominator but some of the signs really are quite patronising.

Really a 6 step guide to washing your hands. We may be a food factory but I've not seen these sort of precautions in a hospital trying to prevent MRSA. My favourite part of this notice though is underneath the 6 step guide it actually states "For further information please call..." in case you were wondering if there were a few missing steps they could advise you about to ensure your hands were really extra clean. No doubt such cleaning stations are situated in areas where your hands are likely to get particularly dirty but in reality they are in the toilets.

http://www.guardian.co.uk/politics/2010/sep/26/ed-miliband-leader-unions


Ah the unions. That favourite bete noir of journalists and Conservative politicians who need a scapegoat to blame for all the country's ills. I would have thought that after Thatcher effectively had them neutered nobody would get so hot under the collar about them but now it seems they have managed to rig the labour leadership election as opposed to, say, recommend to their members the one candidate out of the five who stood who they believed best represented their interests. This is certainly not creating a stooge as in any election you can only deliver on promises you actually make and people vote accordingly on such promises. Few people will ever totally agree with any one politician or party on all matters and often you may vote against the person you disagree with most but either way compromise is necessary. As for complaints that the Unions are too influential in the leadership election denies from where the labour movement was born and even in today's society the ordinary men and women who are union members better represent society than the professional politicians who make up the constituency members or the MPs themselves. These are the people who will vote in a General Election who work alongside people with similar concerns but without any affiliation. They are therefore not constantly surrounded by Labour people even if they themselves are but share many of the same troubles and have a fresh take on what is needed. Many obviously think Ed Miliband offers that alternative and to cry foul over the numbers is unfair when the method of counting them did not result in your favourite being elected. Statistics can always be manipulated to come to a different conclusion and there is never a perfect system (just look at our general election results) so you have to work with what you've got. That system may need improving or not but you can't use it to challenge the validity of the winner after the event. A lot smacks of general Tory sniping as they are slightly unsure what they are going to be up against so hope the cheap shots now may distract him. In the long run he may prove more effective having only had a relatively minor role in the last administration as opposed to his brother who might have been put on the back foot defending his record whenever he tried to criticise the Coalition.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-11412031


I suppose I'm rather pleased Ed Miliband was elected Labour leader seeing that, Dianne Abbott aside, he was probably the most left wing candidate available. I'm sure his brother will feel hard done by but he was basically a Blair clone and his Nu New labour spiel won't attract anyone not won over in the first place and when you have one (at least) slick bastard in No 10 then the last thing you need is another polished professional politician (ooh very alliterative). We honestly don't like smooth MPs no matter how much media training Cameron and Clegg have ordinary people will not trust them. Vince Cable on the other hand appears to be a dying breed and so people warm to him despite any message he carries as he obviously eschews many PR tricks and comes across as genuine. This may be some elaborate double bluff, but generally the public are sceptical of image conscious politicians and would rather their MP seem like a human. That may be a stretch too far for Ed Miliband and no doubt the image consultants and stylists are already knocking at his door but he should rebuff them. If people think he is a geek so what! No makeover will change peoples perceptions now and any attempt will look false like Gordon Brown trying to smile. We really do believe policy is more important than personality so lets see you deliver on the rhetoric of the last few months. Good luck.
    Totally unrelated but I've noticed that occasionally when stood upright I've started to sway. This I put down to gently swaying my hips from side to side whilst cradling Bethany when attempting to get her to sleep. I have now been doing it for a while that the other day I noticed that I was doing it when stood up at work, but obviously without the baby in my arms. Luckily I noticed what I was doing before anyone else and anchored myself to a table for stability but it is surely only a matter of time before the funny looks start. Hopefully the persistent aroma of baby vomit that seems to follow me offers up a clue as to my behaviour.

I've realized one of the reasons I take too long to do the weekly shop is that I am sad enough to perform maths equations in my head at every aisle as I calculate the various merits of the numerous offers and their actual worth. Example: Today in Sainsbury's I was looking at the baby wipes with the knowledge that the pound shop sell the same item for a pound (funnily enough) yet the Supermarkets charge either £2 or £2.30 depending on their mood. As I (middle aged grump that I am becoming) begrudge paying more than twice what they retail for elsewhere I often wait until they are on offer which to be fair is quite often in a buy one get one free capacity, putting them back in the same bracket. This further knowledge compounds the fact that the RRP is a marketing tool to attract people to the apparent bargain that it actually is not and increases my resentment, but today the offer was a third off all baby products making a pack about £1.35 which as I needed a couple still had me thinking of them as too dear until I saw a 4 pack for £3. I know this is incredibly tedious but this is what I suffer in every aisle and why I take over an hour to throw an increasing number of groceries into my trolley. As frustrating as this is I know it is still quicker and more convenient than going to a number of different stores that I know to have a more honest and competitive pricing system. It may not be the most important issue but the pricing cartel is particularly depressing when the supermarkets play off each other in their advertising to appear the most competitive.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/business-11388764


Vince Cable appears to be getting a fair amount of flak for daring to criticize the banks and their rampant overzealous capitalism which exacerbated the economic crisis. One point that this is fine when opposition but not the sort of rhetoric expected of the Business Secretary whose role is not to criticize business. This is clearly nonsense as he is it least being consistent whether you agree with him or not and since when could a government minister not air grievances about matters that he oversees. The Education Secretary can complain about poor exam results or failing schools, the Health secretary about underperforming hospitals so why not the Business Secretary raise an issue he believes needs addressing concerning the department he oversees. Much is often made of not upsetting the markets as they are very nervous which implies that a radical overhaul is required to introduce a less unsettled system that does not result in economic meltdown everytime somebody hurts their feelings. We know of course that this will never happen as in reality big business are nothing more than bullies who blackmail all that if they don't get their own way and the tax breaks they want they will take the ball and the jobs they provide and go and play with another country who'll let them do what they want.
   What is even more disappointing is that this report comes from the impartial BBC and not an expected right wing media outlet confirming the fear that this is now the consensus view and be ready for the backlash should you stray from the status quo. From an organization that likes to present the other side,however marginal e.g. climate change deniers, this is simply depressing.

A day of celebration as we celebrate our 3rd Wedding Anniversary and Ali's mam Anna is 66 today. Apparently a 3rd wedding is represented by leather so I suggested we get leathered at the weekend (unfortunately as I finish my night shift, Ali will be in at the weekend). The 3rd anniversary flower is a fuchsia and I could not find any at short notice, ironic as I cut down a fuchsia bush from our front the other week.

The furore over Ronnie O'Sullivan needing to be persuaded to pot the final black to complete a 147 seems to miss the point.

http://www.guardian.co.uk/sport/2010/sep/20/ronnie-osullivan-147

Whilst the mercenary reasons given leave an unpleasant taste in the mouth I can't help but admire the chutzpah of someone seemingly not bothered about completing a maximum break as if it were an ordinary occurrence. Comments that he was letting down fans who wanted to see him finish of the break ignore the fact that people watch him play precisely because of his maverick nature and this incident is more likely to be remembered in ten years time than if he had finished the break routinely (if a 147 can be described as routine), which would have barely been reported in the first place. These talented individuals are important in all sports and people come to watch them as they fire the imagination, unsure quite what they are going to do, be it a moment of sporting excellence or something stupid or arrogant. While I equally admire players in all sports who work hard to make the most of their abilities or the plucky underdog up against the odds these do not draw the crowds in as the mavericks do and it would be a boring world if everyone was to become an automaton with any individuality stifled. An increase in professionalism with the larger rewards on offer is already driving many of them from various disciplines especially in team sports so those that are left should be cherished. We still talk of the exploits of George Best or Ian Botham and while Bobby Charlton and Graham Gooch were equally important to the teams they played in the crowds are still excited by the former.

If an indicator of age is the number of cards one accrues then I have definitely reached middle age in a flash and have to give serious thought about having a wallet. I don't think I have had more than two cards on me at any one time until a few years ago when we opened a joint account so I had 2 debit cards as well as my swipe card to get into work. I have had other cards such as University Library card and a store card that I only took out to take advantage of the discount it offered on a purchase and immediately threw it in a drawer somewhere. Recently others have started appearing like the petrol point card, but I keep that in the car so it doesn't trouble my pockets and in the last few weeks I have taken out my first credit card and also now have a Nectar card. I never bothered with such things before and the idea of the latter was anathema to me as I did not like to feel beholden to one store but my new middle age thinking dictates that as I generally use Sainsburys with it being closest it seems silly not to collect any accrued points. This means that I now have five cards in my pocket and my other pet hate of a wallet still needs resisting, although my fear that I could easily lose a wallet and everything in it outweighs any practicalities it may offer. God I'm really starting to hate myself.

Another of those strange days where I don't seem to have done anything yet only now at 8:30 in the evening do I feel that I can relax (primarily because the baby is now asleep). The laundry does not seem to have gone down much, forms remain incomplete and the cases are still to go back in the attic but for now I will settle for a few beers and getting a late night in preparation for night shift tomorrow.
   A quick disclaimer as I heard on the radio the other day Fiona Phillips describing her autobiography called "Before I Forget". I would like to state that I was certainly unaware of her book (and would not particularly wish to be associated with her) but did pick the title as a nod to another autobiography: that of James Mason. I'm not a great fan of autobiographies in general but did buy this as he was my favourite screen actor for many years to the effect that I recorded any of his films when they appeared on television during my teens as well as many other "classics" that filled the schedules during the eighties before the endless inane chat shows and countless quiz programmes replaced them. This no doubt helped inculcate my love of film and also why I'm not really interested in public conflict. I could be quite anal about it though, using Halliwell's Film Guide to more or less tick of the films that I should see and had seen.

A whole new world has appeared to me this last week that I was unaware of; I mean I did know that people owned caravans but the extent that they treated them like second homes had eluded me. The constant advertising of caravans for sale at the park where we were staying is understandable but it is probably the scruffy bloke in me that assumes caravans are rather basically equipped boxes stuck on the back of a car and that static versions provide a solid base with a bed and a telly when you want a weekend away. The latter point was quickly dispelled on entering the one we had rented for the week: very spacious (as it should being designed to sleep twice as many) and better equipped than the chalet we had in Ilfracombe the previous month. Then we made the mistake of buying wine with a cork from the on site store before realizing there was no corkscrew (a quick trip to Tesco's required); this time not only did we have a corkscrew (ironically redundant due to screw caps) but measuring jugs, scissors and other utensils we had forgot. The TV even came with an inbuilt DVD player that still had a copy of "The Tooth Fairy" in it (unsurprisingly average with a life lesson learned moral).
   The real eye opener came when walking past the bought caravans and the extent to which the owners had gone to make them more like their own homes. many had verandas, complete with barbecue, as well as benches and pot plants. Without being nosey you couldn't help but see the large flat screen TVs and in one case the full gas fire complete with surround. It does seem typically English that we don't trust the weather enough that we have to invest in better heating for our summer abodes. Saying that a few nights this past week were quite cold to the point that I could see my breath this morning all helping that end of season feeling to the whole experience. Beautiful beaches all along that stretch of coast but a bit too windy, especially for Bethany, to fully enjoy.

   I started this hours ago and as often happens I got distracted by a number of things of varying importance (chiefly baby, food and cricket) and just remembered that I had left this open after the 3rd ODI between England and Pakistan had ended. Now that it is over a quick comment on both teams strips: Why do both have a coloured circle under the armpit. Are strip manufacturers really running out of ideas as the outfits change so regularly that any flashes here or there will do and if so who thought having a dark green patch under the arm of a light green shirt for Pakistan was a good idea and did not remotely look like they were sweating too much. England's however is just curious: bright green on dark blue makes the players look a little diseased. Much like those T-shirts that changed colour when you sweated these designs don't seem to have been fully thought through. For all that well bowled Umar Gul, leaving the fear that England are not as good as they think they are and have not really been tested this summer. The worry is that we do not build on success well and can rest on our laurels in a warm glow of smug satisfaction. This is not restricted to cricket as the Rugby team went backwards after winning the World Cup in 2003 like the Ashes winning side of 2005 did. I hope that after winning the 20/20 or (T20 or whatever) World Cup this team does not do likewise.

Calm after the storm now that Bethany is in bed and Alison has finished packing for the time being. Bethany has not been very well today with a number of symptoms generally blamed on teething and Alison has been preparing for our few days away on the Northumberland coast from tomorrow. Our daughter has had her moments but when not tired was still playful, non more so than when she was chasing my father round my parent's living room or it may have been the other way round. Hopefully the bracing North Sea air shouldn't be too much for her as it was a bit blowy in the park this morning and she did not appreciate it.
   STOP PRESS: An advert for Weebles has just been on TV. I haven't heard of them for ages so whether they have been under the radar or are having a relaunch (they wobbled but never fell down) I don't know. Either way it seems a strange time for the advert to appear at 20:55 on a Sunday evening on channel that just shows repeats of comedy and driving programmes (Dave). I'm no expert in such matters but I hardly think they are reaching their target demographic unless they are after people like me who also want to fully immerse themselves in a nostalgia trip. Seems slightly absurd and there is every chance it was some fake ad promoting something else but as they say "Nostalgia ain't what it used to be."

How horrible do I feel after making my daughter cry yesterday. She is scared of the hoover and cries when the vacuum cleaner is switched on and has had a similar reaction to my dad when he was cutting the hedge with a chainsaw and we had to take her back indoors from my parents garden. These are rather large and noisy so did not think anything of making a pot of coffee. Using an electric grinder on the beans a noticed that Bethany stopped in her tracks on the verge of the kitchen but without any tears. Thinking this would make a useful deterrent to her entering the hazardous kitchen area I switched it on when I saw her approaching, eying up the oven. This time, however, not only did she halt at the threshold but the waterworks erupted as well. As she's a bit young to be making excuses to avoid chores I gave her the benefit of the doubt and a cuddle.

Have just signed up toTwitter as quickhaiku with what seemed like a good idea at the time where I tweet unsurprisingly in haiku form. I'm sure I'll soon get bored.
   Bethany appears to be growling more when happy sounding like the spawn of Satan. I probably encourage Rosemary's baby when looking through her baby animal book and making accompanying noises to the bear and lion cubs. For want of any better ideas I've resorted to stretching my neck and making chomping noises for the giraffe calf and quickly skipping past the raccoon other than to say "Ooh look a raccoon". Thankfully she she is much brighter this morning after being very tired yesterday afternoon with a slight temperature and a runny nose although if she were still sleepy I wouldn't have to keep breaking away from this to drag her away from the stereo

The gossip concerning the future manager of the England football team seems to have stepped up a gear since Capello said he would retire after the Euros in 2012, most of it concerning Harry Redknapp. I know he's a media darling being a former West Ham boss - a favourite amongst sports journalists, and the last wide boy in Terry Venebles did quite well, but the way everyone is fawning over him when there isn't even a post available yet is rather excessive. Certainly if the post was to be available tomorrow he should not even be considered as he is too close to the present squad having nurtured and coached many of them. At a time when we are looking to move on some of the old pros after years of underachievement I remain unconvinced that Uncle 'Arry would be the right man to drop Frank Lampard let alone e.g. Joe Cole, Rio Ferdinand or Peter Crouch.
   The lack of an obvious replacement means Redknapp will always be favourite at the moment but that is to ignore Stuart Pearce who is involved at the moment and has done a decent job with the under 21s. The Netherlands and Germany did not worry about previous managerial experience when appointing van Basten and Klinsmann respectively with varying degrees of success and Mark Hughes certainly left Wales with more credit than the experienced John Toshack did today and has gone on to acquit himself well at club level. Arguably Redknapp wasn't the best English manager last season if league position is the basis of assessment for as well as getting Spurs to 4th in the Premiership is Steve Maclaren guiding FC Twente to the Eredivisie title in Holland tops that. History might bar a return but a bit more experience on the continent and you never know.

The deterioration process is starting: I'm sure I can detect grey hairs in my chin stubble. I thought I noticed some last week and not having shaved since ( I'm not particularly trying to grow a beard again just I haven't been bothered) they appeared more significant today. Does this mean that I will have to up my one shave a week rule (unless I've got to go somewhere and I get disapproving looks from the wife) although my poor sensitive cheeks might not like it, or accept that I am only 18 months away from 40 and not the 27 I think I am in my head. This is the first physical sign of my own personal mortality that I have received as I've never been fit or physically active - not going to the gym means no negative comparisons: I bench press or lift or whatever the hell else exactly the same now as I did twenty years ago. Mentally I don't think my memory is as sharp as it used to be but I used to have it packed with trivia ready for quiz nights and most of what I learned at University has long been forgotten - mind you most of that Biochemistry course from twenty years ago will be obsolete by now. (Christ that's another of those little anniversaries that remind me of my age - 20 years this month since I started all clean and innocent at UEA). I do remember (I remember something) just over 10 years ago when studying the Engineering section for my AME that I could not remember calculus when it popped up in some equations. This was stuff that I found easy when I was 15 and eleven or twelve years later I was staring at some squiggles on a page before deciding to root around the attic for my old maths exercise books. I found the books but not a satisfactory explanation but got the general gist and memorized the necessary end equations.
   I think the upshot of all that is that I my have to revise my mental age of 27 upwards. Already I'm anticipating the moment when Bethany comes asking for help with her homework and being exposed as the big fraud I am because I don't have a clue. She's already outsmarting me as I upturn chairs to block her path to forbidden items or areas (anything with a wire and the oven mainly) as she simply treats it as an obstacle course and weaves her way through the gap under the table vacated by the chair.
   Oh well at least things haven't started dropping off yet.

Christ, judging by some of my previous posts I can't half waffle on - I really should learn the art of brevity.

All a bit disturbing last night, just as I was about to pour myself a scotch whilst Bethany had gone to sleep and Alison was on nights an almighty racket broke out outside. I soon realized that a couple of dogs were barking nearby and it quickly transpired that they were fighting down my drive outside the front door. My first thought was to hope that Bethany didn't wake and gently tapped on the inside of the door to see if that would achieve anything: it didn't. Not wanting to open the door to two fighting dogs my next pathetic attempt to break things up involved half filling a vase with water and pouring it out of the window onto, basically the pavement, as I couldn't see anything. It was just after this that the outside security light revealed that they were fighting over what was now a dead cat and so called the RSPCA. By the end of the call the fight was reduced to one dog toying with its prey and that got bored soon after leaving me with a dead cat on my doorstep. On being told that they may require the body for evidence I left it for a couple of hours until around 11:30pm when no one had got back to me when I put the body in a bin bag believing the wife wouldn't be best pleased to step over it in the morning.
   This morning (or yesterday morning now) proved frustrating as I spent half the morning on the phone trying to find someone who wanted a dead cat. After calling the RSPCA back to find out what they wanted me to do with the corpse they eventually returned my call after contacting a local officer to tell me that they would not need it as this had been an isolated incident and to call the council to dispose of the manky moggie. This I duly did and after explaining my situation was transferred to the relevant department where I repeated the events to be told "I've never had a cat before" and was put on hold whilst she contacted something called Street Team or Street Clean. Several attempts later she apologized for them busy and promised to call me back when she had spoken to them which she duly did shortly afterwards. However, she informed me that they were unable to collect the cat as it was in my drive and not on the street and they weren't allowed on private property. I said that my drive wasn't very long and I could easily place it on the street but this was not satisfactory as I had already informed her of its initial location. As thoughts of wondering how I could get in touch with the cat woman and her wheelie bin I could hear the background chatter in the office whereby they came up with the compromise solution that they would inform the collection team that I had found the cat on the street and had bagged it up and left it just inside my drive. After all this the collection team promptly came 5 1/2 hours later.

http://soccernet.espn.go.com/news/story?id=819904&sec=england&campaign=rss&source=soccernet&cc=5739

Gordon Taylor seems to have slightly missed the point of the 25 man squad although he does qualify it by saying that it is a step in the right direction. Now I'm all for revolution but evolution must play its part as well and this proposal was as good as anybody could expect the Premier League clubs to allow through themselves. Realistically the teams were never going to overhaul their squads overnight and this rule should create greater opportunities for young English players in the future. The complaint that no one has been axed  and players under 21 used to pad out the squad is disingenuous as a lot of these kids are British even at Arsenal. The rule was not supposed to change everything straight away but you can see some benefits already. The under 21s will not stay 21 for ever and to keep the quota system working when e.g. Rio Ferdinand leaves or retires from Man United then they are compelled to ensure Chris Smalling is promoted to the 25 man squad to keep the numbers right as opposed to going out and signing someone like Chiellini who they were linked with over the summer. It might even be why they signed him in the first place - which is again one of the benefits: clubs are encouraged to seek out young English talent and nurture them for the future. Complaints that players such as Fabregas qualifying are unfair were always going to rear their head but are a consequence of European employment laws and are relatively few. This works both ways and there is nothing to stop young British players plying their trade abroad. That has been one of our problems in that we are too insular and too few of our players have broadened their football education on the continent so that when it comes to internationals they may realize that other nations do not play like they do in the Premiership. Anyway allowing someone of Fabregas's talent through is not a disaster and some of the others may even qualify to play for England through residency a la Arteta.

I suppose it comes as no surprise to discover a politician being arrogant but Tony Blair still being adamant in his belief that all he did was for the common good and that Labour lost the last election because they wandered from the true New Labour path and did not go far enough (to the right presumably) for his liking is astonishing. To dress your party as Diet Tory to appeal to conservative voters might work when the full fat version are in disarray but you risk alienating your own core voters. As soon as the Tories appeared slightly electable the public were always likely to vote for the real thing. The many external factors such as the economy or crime suddenly appear more apparent and change was always bound to happen after 13 years of the same government. These things come in cycles as the ruling party are not going to reverse any unpopular policies for fear of looking weak so the party that was in opposition come in and can make popular decisions from the comfort of often being against those unpopular policies when in opposition. The real test comes when the honeymoon period ends and they have to come up with their own ideas instead of blaming the previous government.
   That reminds me of the apocryphal tale of the Soviet leader relinquishing power and the new chairman taking office to find two letters on his desk. The first letter has on the envelope "Only to be opened in the event of your unpopularity" and the second reads "Only to be opened when you are so unpopular and in the middle of a crisis". At first everything runs smoothly but sure enough he starts losing popularity and so opens the first letter. Inside it reads "Blame everything on me". The new leader therefore blames the policies of his predecessor and this appeases everyone for a while, but soon his troubles restart and he resorts to opening the second letter. In it he reads "Write two letters..."
   Anyway all this seems to have eluded Tony Blair (unlike today's eggs and shoes - got the message yet) who still maintains that a tired government would still have won had they followed through with his vision. The biggest disappointment after 13 years of Labour rule is that in the last two general elections Darlington has failed to field a left field candidate. It's as if they have actually admitted that they are all much of a muchness, no more red and blue just magnolia everywhere. Like all these property shows telling you to use pastel colours to decorate your house lest you offend any potential buyers, even though every new house now looks like a hospital ward so the politicians are trying to please everybody. This is not how it works in a democracy - settling for something bland that no one can identify with - people debate issues and the side with the most votes win. All this is achieving is to marginalise core voters who will run off to extremist parties although they are doing a bang up job of showing how ridiculous they all are themselves. The odious Nick Griffin doesn't like immigration but quite frankly looking at him and his corned beef face this country needs all the help it can get in the gene pool. The Monster Raving Loony Party (or UKIP) are quite funny in that people can still take a one policy party seriously and the least said about such vanity projects as Veritas and Respect the better.
   All in all I suppose I'm quite fearful that Labour will elect David Milliband as leader and we will have the status quo preserved. Everyone promises change when things go wrong but I've yet to see any - except the loose change in my pocket which is all I'll have left after the Tories hang around a bit longer (I know it's the coalition but really the Lib Dems are just so pleased to be there they daren't say no).

This evening we sojourned to what must be our pub de saison the Fox and Hounds for a quiet drink by the river. When we arrived a little after 5:30 it appeared we were not alone in our idea. Unfortunately for the three women with their children they were also hoping to eat and the pub was not yet open. We were soon joined by a number of of other parties who expressed surprise that the car park was half full but no-one was available to serve them drinks. As one family informed everyone that they had booked a table for 6 we presumed that they had not been closed down and went for a stroll by the river whilst pondering that they were either not too concerned about the business and the fear of losing trade to a gastro pub down the road that was open all day. Personally the relaxed attitude to opening times makes a refreshing change and its nice to see someone working at their own convenience even if they do seem to be missing a trick my not opening an hour earlier on a Friday evening. It gave us the opportunity for a walk by the river and the 10 minutes just lying on the grass in the sun were a welcome relief from having to do something - that was until Bethany decided my shoelaces were more fun than her toys. When we returned to the pub it had filled up a little more and it proved a very pleasant evening with other like minded families and the pub even provided toys for the numerous children.
   A number of posts have had the advantage of brevity this week as I have had to go to work. I was intending to discuss English cricket and the last test against Pakistan - particularly that stand between Trott and Broad, but events somewhat overtook me. My one overriding thought over the spot betting scandal is who on either side would be stupid enough to place or accept a bet on a specific no ball occurring at a set time. I am not a gambler so I come at this from a neutral (or uninformed) point of view but have had a flutter on the Grand National and this year actually won. Now when this rare occurrence happens you think that gut feeling you had might be on to something or the scientific methods you used to analyse all the form was the winning way. It is tempting to believe you know what is going to happen and one bookmaker even played on this during there World Cup advertising (I forget which one but thankfully I didn't back my hunches as even England got farther than the Ivory Coast). Anyway my point is that when placing a bet you can justify in your mind what might happen or the odds are too good to turn down. With spot betting you could even argue a case for the number of corners based on the the average number in a match and the supposed abilities of both teams. Also this is a parameter with so many variables that it would be hard to corrupt and is reliant on the opposing team attacking or the defending team not putting the ball out. Throw ins are a little vaguer but in e.g. wet or windy conditions one may assume that passes may be over hit and the ball may go out of play more often but to bet on the actual time a throw in occurs is pure guess work and for such a bet to be available smacks of somebody knowing something I don't know in which case I'm not interested. Cricket provides more opportunities for potential fixes as even though it is primarily a team game it is one where the team is composed of individuals. There is still only so much one corrupt individual could do - rumours that the Pakistan openers were deliberately scoring slowly and taking 20 or 30 deliveries before scoring ignores the fact that the bowler might actually get them out. Also in context to the Pakistan batsmen on that occasion they had been previously been dismissed for less than 100 and were naturally being watchful. As for the no balls to order I still can't understand how a bookmaker, licensed or not, would take such a bet without thinking that such a specific wager had knowledge he didn't. Still well done Stuart Broad.

  

The other night at work a colleague was enquiring about our daughter and asked how we came up with the name Bethany for her. Saying that it was one of the few names we could both agree on he replied "Did your wife say 'I like Beth' and you replied 'I like Any'?" I did think I should mention some of my thought processes for my part in the naming should Bethany wish to know at a later date and I am no longer able to remember.
   Initially the middle name of Anna came first after deciding to call her after Alison's mother. I like this use of the middle name to give a nod to other family but do not like using it as a first name as there is obviously already one of those and aside from causing confusion I would like any offspring unburdened by any comparisons and be a person in their own right. After selecting the middle name this automatically ruled out any first name beginning or ending in the letter A to avoid alliteration, which I am not keen on, and to prevent her two christian names running into each other. This rule also stopped me thinking of names beginning with M to prevent clashes with the surname. I had already ruled out A as her mother has this initial and to avoid any future confusion with post addressed to A Marshall had decided against this letter as well as R due to my initial. To avoid further running of names with Anna certain names such as Joanne or Dianne clashed and were therefore overlooked as were a number of names I liked but when said quickly together with her middle name sounded like an Italian version e.g. Lucy becoming Luciana.
   My other big gripe was that it should be a proper girl's name and not a feminized version of a man's name which eventually ruled out one of the wife's favourites and the name she was nearly going to be called until her birth: Charlotte. Despite reassurances that my wife would use Lottie instead of Charlie I did not feel comfortable - luckily for me then that when she was born my wife decided that "She doesn't look like a Charlotte." This basically left Bethany as the only name we could really agree upon. An added factor was that without actually naming her after my Nanna Betty the Beth does provide a nod to her given name of Elizabeth.
   After all that effort it was somewhat surprising that for the first couple of days I called her Bertha (I did have a great aunt of that name but not a name that had ever cropped up in possible names). Whilst I might blame the tiredness and excitement of the occasion to mash Bethany and Anna together briefly my wife managed to remember our daughter's name perfectly well and could lay claim to be more emotionally and physically drained by the whole experience. Even harder to explain is where I got Gertie from which I also used on a couple of occasions in her early days.