Yesterday was my grandfather's funeral and as he had no particular religious beliefs a humanist ceremony was held. This was the first time I had attended such a ceremony and I was impressed by the tone of the whole occasion as well as the brevity which lasted about 15 minutes although there was a relatively small gathering at the crematorium. That is not meant to sound flippant as there was no lingering waiting for the next stage with grievers adding boredom to their upset and is the kind of ceremony I would gladly have for myself. My mam and her step sisters had wrote the details of his life that the wished mention of with contributions from others and a member of the Humanist Society read out this tribute. http://www.humanism.org.uk/ceremonies/humanist-funerals-memorials
 
   In total three songs that he liked were played instead of the usual hymns with two top and tailing the service and a third played midway through whist we were encouraged to reflect on our own personal reflections.
   The thing that struck me were when the person conducting the ceremony confessed that he had never met Bob but that he sounded like the sort of person he would like to meet. Leaving the compliment of the second part of that, the honesty of the former part of that sentence was a contrast to the number of vicars and priests I have heard talking about the deceased as if they knew them familiarly despite them not attending church.
   No flowers had been requested with a collection for Parkinsons UK http://www.parkinsons.org.uk/ set up on the way out for those who would like to make a donation. The only thing that felt slightly off was as we made our way back to cars to go back to my parents was the next party of mourners waiting to go in as we were leaving. This is more a problem of the layout of the crematorium meaning that we had to walk back up past them to get back to our cars which got a bit crowded.
   We only stayed a short while as we had to pick Bethany up from nursery having only put her in for the morning and Alison had to get ready for work. There was a bustle of activity in the kitchen with three kettles on the go around the house, not helped by my parents only having half a kitchen as they are getting a new one. This meant that there was no power and quiches were being warmed up in a microwave plugged into an extension cord along with two kettles. This did not take long to blow a fuse and gave my Dad and Stan the perfect excuse to run to the garage for more fuses and extension cords. This mini drama certainly helped lighten the mood and allowed people to reflect fondly as they browsed specially prepared photo albums.

Today I was weak in the face of Bethany's new trick which basically involves toddling into the kitchen, pointing at the cupboard which she has quickly worked out contains her treats (biscuits, chocolate buttons, crisps etc) and crying. Not wanting to encourage her to eat junk I gave her a grape and when that did not satisfy her I put a few in a bowl for her. By the time she went to bed there was 3 left from the whole bunch. That's not including the banana and a couple of the treats previously mentioned. I don't know if this is good or not - she's eating and enjoying fruit but quite a lot of it.
   Not that I want to make a habit of discussing CBeebies but this is more by way of an illustration at how somethings pass me by until that Eureka moment several weeks after everybody else. Anyway during the weekly shop I picked up a ZingZillas cuddly toy that was on offer, giving Bethany something to cuddle for the duration of the shop and it was only when unpacking at home, when taking off the tag that the doll's name was spelled Panzee. That is when it struck me that, what with them all being monkeys, that she had been given a name as a derivative form of chimpanzee and the fact that it sounded feminine like a flower was a bonus. I presumed that Tang was therefore a derivative of orangutan and concluded that the creators had missed a trick in naming the other characters Zak and Drum. As the former is based on a gorilla Gor or Rill would have been more apt and the latter is apparently meant to resemble a Golden Lion Tamarin so Tam would suffice. They could have even spread the net further with Babs the baboon or Gib or why not Obo who would be the horny character. Incidentally is Drum supposed to be a pastiche on the drummer being the butt of the jokes in the band with her childlike syntax and simplistic attitude parodying the stupid drummer cliche.

I have been watching an unhealthy amount of children's television recently as Bethany has developed more of an interest in CBeebies and I have been struck by the number of performers I grew watching in various programmes in the 80s. Whether it is as a voice artist such as Derek Jacobi for "In the Night Garden", Su Pollard on "Little Robots" or Lenny Henry also in "Little Robots" as well as every second programme or an actual appearance like James Bolam in "Grandpa in my Pocket" and Linda Baron in "Come Outside" I feel as though I am reliving two periods from my youth in one go. The latter programme I noticed was nearly twenty years old which explains my initial reaction on first seeing it that Linda Baron was ageing particularly well.
   Many of the shows have a worthy message, whether it is educational, environmental, practical or health based with varying degrees of success. If the programme goes all out and embraces the subject in hand and simply tries to have fun with it then that comes through e.g. Nina and the Neurons where Katrina Bryan convinces enthusiastically as the presenter despite not having a science background. Saying that "Mighty Mites" is too enthusiastic for my liking (and I know it's not aimed at me) as Sarah Jane Honeywell tries to get children more active but feels hollow and there is a sadness in her eyes, almost as if she's thinking she should be getting some serious acting jobs by now.
   Shows that are purely fun based can be a mixed bag also but the true star is Justin Fletcher from "Something Special" and "Gigglebiz". In the former, what initially seems very worthy as he takes special needs children out to varying locations and he teaches sign language to the audience is actually warm hearted and Bethany love the sketches with Mr Tumble that are interspersed throughout. The latter programme lets him get full rein on all manner of slapstick and pun based gags which again transfixes Bethany as he dresses in all manner of outfits and lets rip with the "dad jokes".
   Speaking of stars, the true star of "In the Night Garden" is Makka Pakka who goes around cleaning the faces of the other characters without much in the way of thanks. Igglepiggle does not do enough to get top billing, Upsy Daisy is too kooky, the Tombliboos are brats and the Pontipines and Wottingers come across as rather Puritan and whose large families are frankly irresponsible in these over populated times. Mr Pontipine does have a magnificent moustache though.

My grandfather, Bob, died this morning just one day after Helen rang to tell me that he was seriously ill after a bleed in the brain and had been given only days to live. Apparently he was comfortable and at least it was over quickly for his sake. As my mother pointed out, although obviously upset at losing her father, it means that his Parkinson's can't cause any more damage. At 82 he was quite frail and confused by the number of tablets he had to take with the Warfarin he was prescribed possibly contributing to the bleed.
   I feel rather strange about the last couple of days: undoubtably upset at his death but in a somewhat detached sort of way as I did not really know him very well and certainly not before the last few years. Growing up I considered my mother's step dad to be my grandfather (from whom I get my middle name) and I can't have met Bob more than twice as he lived abroad in Germany and France and had another family after divorcing my nanna. As her behaviour saw us becoming estranged from them so my mam started to have more contact with her father and after she died, slightly ironically in a car crash on the way to hospital (going for tests in Newcastle, Brian was not sure of the way so pulled over to ask for help and somebody went into the back of his car after he got out with my nanna on the back seat), so my parents started to visit him more in Dieppe. As his health began to fail he returned to England and into a residential home in Darlington which at the time made me feel uncomfortable. I suppose a part of me resented him not being bothered before but was happy to crawl back when he needed support which was probably unfair and my mam was happy to have him back in her life although I did not visit as often as I should have.
   It is still a sad occasion and on the occasions I did see him I remember his frailty disguising a sharp mind that would be thinking a couple of steps ahead of yours even when you thought he was talking nonsense and senile you would eventually catch up. With him goes my last biological grandparent leaving only Brian who to carry the theme through we don't have much contact with anymore but here of his own worsening condition from Tim.

RIP Norman Robert Ledsom.

The last immunisations for a couple of years for Bethany this morning as she received a couple of injections for MMR and pneumococci. She seemed to sense what was to occur as she cried from the moment we got to the centre and after quarter of an hour or so she calmed down enough to play with the toys just before we were called in. Whilst we were waiting a woman approached us with a questionnaire about library services with the worrying undertone that reduced resources were threatening its closure. Felling slightly guilty that it has been many years since I used the one in our town as I always found it rather limited but would be horrified to see it close especially as Bethany gets older when I hope to get more use from it.
   When we returned home we rewarded Bethany with some Chocolate Buttons which improved her mood and she started laughing and running around again. I suppose it was no surprise to find her in bed with Alison when I got in as she was feeling a little under the weather.
   First thing this morning as I was feeding Bethany her cereal I put 6music on the radio and much to my relief she started dancing along. Thankfully her dancing to Alison's choices of Take That and Nuclear Pussy (or Atomic Kitten or whatever) has not yet totally destroyed her eardrums as she swayed along to The Futureheads.

Bethany has been chewy again for the weekend as she seems to be troubled with her teeth but she did have her moments. She was a bit picky with her food yesterday but we set aside some carrots later on for her whilst we had our tea and she happily sat with us at the coffee table and picked them off her plate. Soon she ran out and started helping herself to those on Alison's plate but instead of eating them herself she started to feed them to Alison as we feed her so she thought she would repay the compliment. Bethany does seem to like participating in meal times and if allowed to roam free will help herself to the food from our plates. She also had one of her exploring days where she was bored by being downstairs and cried despite being surrounded by toys. Taking her upstairs to see Alison who was in the bath cheered her up as she ran along the landing and helped herself to books from the bookcase and wandered into the spare room where she collected video games and DVDs and carried them to Alison. Visiting my parents also afforded her the opportunity to run around in a new environment and she spotted a new place upstairs when my mother took her to my old room to fetch some toys and she started pointing at the cupboard they had come from in the hope that it may reveal more.
   I was trying to free my car with my father at the time as the black ice was particularly bad yesterday. Deciding not to park down their steep drive for fear of not being able to get back out I left my car on the front outside their house at the top of the street on a rise. As I was about to get out the car started slipping backwards and in trying to correct this my car ended up almost side on into the kerb. Taking Bethany out I returned with my father armed with salt, shovels and shoulders and managed to straighten my car up, turning the front wheels into the kerb and chocking up the back with some wood. We then chipped away at the thick of the ice on his ski slope of a drive which was luckily in the sun and starting to melt

Bethany slowly seems to be sleeping a little better as she gets back into her usual routine following the festive period and a cold. Previous nights have seen her wake after about 40 minutes and not going back down to the extent that she has ended up coming to bed with us. She still ended up in our bed last night but she at least managed a couple of hours initially.
   The last couple of days have also seen Bethany grind her teeth. She only has six and the effect is akin to fingernails down the blackboard, going straight through me. All the teething gel and Calpol (or prescribed alternative) don't seem to be preventing her irritation which may well be contributing to her disturbed sleep patterns.

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   The pedant in me feels the need to comment on an advert for the online casino 32Red
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BkSoRTfhPaA

The tagline for this at the end is "32Red. We're second to none" when the roulette wheel stops spinning and it quite clearly shows that the 32 red slot is actually next to none. If they claimed that 15 black was second to none then I would not have a problem or even if they simply said that they were next to none but instead the sloppy tagline they have opted for may sound better to the ad agency's ears but is inaccurate when voiced over the shot of the wheel.

Happy New Year and all that and I think it's safe to say that I have celebrated this particular occasion in more vociferous fashion in previous years. As Alison was working overnight I was left quite literally holding the baby as Bethany awoke around 11:15 just after Alison had phoned and try as I might she would not go back to sleep on her own. She would get nice and peaceful as I cradled her and as I cuddled her whilst sat in the chair in her room I next remember hearing fireworks going off. "That will be the New Year then" I dozily remember thinking and giving up on the thought of Bethany sleeping on her own took her downstairs where she happily napped in my arms whilst I finished my drink. I did manage another snooze myself before giving up the whole enterprise and going to bed. At least I did not have a hangover today.